So over it…

I’m so over everything right now. I am over school, I am over work, I am over people, I am definitely over corporations, and right now, in this very moment, I am so fucking over it that I really don’t want to be here at all. So many, many times I wished that I could just dissipate. I just want to go back to being particles- no self, no soul, no consciousness, nothing at all. Nothing pestering me. Nothing telling me what to be, how to be, who to be, and all the while refusing to acknowledge the true me beneath it all. I just want to float…to fly, to free-fall…to ride a sound wave or a beam of light. I would be okay with not being aware of it. Who cares?

That’s the question I find myself asking all too often. Who really gives a shit? In moods like this I feel like nothing is relevant to me at all. I don’t care about politics, our imaginary economy with its imaginary currency and imaginary debt. We can’t see the real debts we’ve accrued on the global scale when they slam us in the face with a fucking hurricane. I’m so over this stupid drive to “succeed”–a drive to sacrifice your health, your time (basically the two most important things you have in life), your family’s health and time, and all for imaginary security… and of course to accrue a bunch of crap that turns your children into entitled little brats, and inevitably turns you into a living zombie.- One who is so lacking for brains that it doesn’t even know what has happened to it. I’m also pretty over this imaginary concept of time. Enough with the YOLO shit already. Actions have consequences, if you’re gonna live in the moment don’t be a selfish jerk about it, it’s not like tomorrow isn’t going to happen.

I’m so over the system. This broken, broken system…everyone thinks they know how to fix it, but they just keep pulling the same stale tricks out of the bag. No one wants to take credit for the state we’re in. No one wants to admit that they are a part of the problem. But they all are…you are, I am, shit, even my carnivorous cat is part of the problem. Everyone knows what’s best for everybody else, but can’t seem to read what their own bodies are screaming at them. Even if they could, they’re just too stuck in this broken system to do anything about it.

Sometimes it pisses me right off, other times I become apathetic. Many times I want to just dissipate into the atmosphere, never to be acknowledged again. But oh well, I suppose I’ll just get over it…